i'd like to retire in this.

my weekend, well my weekend was rather alright.
on friday night, i went to dan & scedi's or scedi and dan's 18th.
it was actually really good, i talked to people i don't talk to too much and i actually feel like a proper part of the group now, not just 'mitch's girlfriend' thank god, i hate being the one no one knows, but i usually am.
it's surprising that i have any friends, or a boyfriend..
i guess alcohol makes me come out of my shell to make friends, and then i talk to them again, get to know them, hang around with them, slowly get comfortable and then call them good mates.
strange, but true, i'm a shy person, always have been.

after the party i stayed with mitchell, i always have fun at his house,
 i feel welcome, and his dad gets less and less scary all the time.
i like waking up next to mitchell in the morning, i'm usually wrapped around him or vice versa.
sometimes we're on completely opposite sides of the bed, so i scooch over a little and cuddle into him.
i like the feeling, it's like a feeling of security.
best kisser.
best lover.
best boyfriend.

no lonely, old bed for me.



saturday i went home, i guess i was kind of relieved.
i showered, it was like heaven, i love showering, it's one of my favourite things in the world.
i've always been a water person, nanny calls me a water baby.
that's why i was excited for summer, swimming.
anyway, after my shower i started reading the book mitch told me to read, it's amazing already.
i'll finish it.
and then...
it was time for the show!
of course, what i wanted most didn't happen, but i did have a pretty good time.
it got better when gaby and jordyn showed up, ahhh the 'speed racer' is the best ride on the planet.

after that we all went to mason's for his 18th,
i was tired, very tired.

i've been tired ever since.

oh i am glad i haven't become one of the now millions of people asking you to follow my blog,
it creeps me out how much all these people want everyone to see what's in their head.
i keep mine safe, no one can read you my dear.
what's the point of these things anyway?
i use mine to dislodge thoughts and feelings,
but i'd never make it public.
too private.
my own inner workings are for very few peoples eyes, hearts or heads.
too hard to figure out, too simple to study.

i'm not saying that all you people out there promoting your blogger are bad or anything,
i'm simply stating i do not understand nor wish too.

you've got to admit, all the 'follow my blog' or 'read my blog' bulletins are getting old.
another fad adopted by the myspace population.
i want to know who in heck decided to create one first.
the first person i know of was judd, to promote his 'religious' outlook.
whatever floats your boat.
i'm not right and you're not wrong.

another pointless post from the inner most parts of my brain to the tips of my fingers.

i'm over it.
i want you here.

31st of october.
halloween.
the albury show.
i wish mitchell was going, but he can't.
i hate that.

well i gave blood,
first time it's ever made me feel like crap.
i have really low iron levels, i shouldn't have given blood today.

tomorrow is a new day.
time for a party, a party with an unplanned ending,
who knows where i will sleep.
i am keen though.
it will be good.
and i need to see mitch, i feel better when he is around.
or even when he calls me, or mentions my name.
ah i've turned into a pussy.
i used to hate holding hands, kissing in public & all those things.
being cute was for alone time.
but now, all i want to do is hold his hand or kiss him, no matter where i am, or who is watching.
i post stupid quizes that almost speak entirely of him, i have to force myself to not answer it wholly based on that boy.
jesus christ tianna, you're like a schoolgirl again.



fuck you, i can be a faggot if i want.

the albury show is back.
mm yes, it's back.
the one thing i can say i've been to every single year since birth.
my one routine thing.
hopefully this year will be good, all the people i want are going.
unless mitch doesn't show, then well, eh i want him to go.
i've never had a boy escourt me to the show.
my last boyfriend was too much of an arsehole too, and wouldn't do it unless i brought him alcohol,
but mitch isn't an arsehole, he has exams yatta, yatta.



the lights.
the sounds.
the people.
the carnies.
oh how i love circus people.