2009 sucks.
and sucked.
2010 i'm praying you'll be better.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
i think it's time to document the last two nights worth of dreams.
it's been awful scary, i wake up each morning or during the night with a sobbing wet pillow and tears rolling down my face like they never have before.
i've been dreaming of my own death, i've placed each persons thoughts and emotions to each death and in what way i would come back to see them.
see, my subconscious mind has created a place where when you die, you arrive at this world, this afterlife type thing that's just like earth yet better. it's strange.
and gaby was there, ;s.
it was as if as soon as you died you'd go to another world just like earth and continue living the way you want.
it's strange but i continued with school in this world. my little brain knows it's something i must do, and it was a completely different school.
anyway, in this place there was a chance to go back to earth to see 10 people you love for the last time, and they could feel your presence, not see you, just feel you're there.
so i chose, my mother, father, mitchell, my nan, aunty, maddison, and the rest i don't remeber.
the main ones that stick in my head are mum and mitch.
i'm crying typing this what the hell.
mum was laying in bed, she looked horrible, she'd been crying, a lot. i walked to her side of the bed and kissed her on the forehead, i told her i loved her and left her, as i left she smiled.
mitchell was awake, he'd made up our little bed in the loungeroom and he was just lying in the middle looking to the left side of him. i creeped up next to him after he closed his eyes and hugged him from behind like i always do. i waited till he fell asleep and told him he was the love of my life, kissed him on the lips for the last time and left.
fucked up dream hey.
i don't like sleeping alone anymore.
it's been awful scary, i wake up each morning or during the night with a sobbing wet pillow and tears rolling down my face like they never have before.
i've been dreaming of my own death, i've placed each persons thoughts and emotions to each death and in what way i would come back to see them.
see, my subconscious mind has created a place where when you die, you arrive at this world, this afterlife type thing that's just like earth yet better. it's strange.
and gaby was there, ;s.
it was as if as soon as you died you'd go to another world just like earth and continue living the way you want.
it's strange but i continued with school in this world. my little brain knows it's something i must do, and it was a completely different school.
anyway, in this place there was a chance to go back to earth to see 10 people you love for the last time, and they could feel your presence, not see you, just feel you're there.
so i chose, my mother, father, mitchell, my nan, aunty, maddison, and the rest i don't remeber.
the main ones that stick in my head are mum and mitch.
i'm crying typing this what the hell.
mum was laying in bed, she looked horrible, she'd been crying, a lot. i walked to her side of the bed and kissed her on the forehead, i told her i loved her and left her, as i left she smiled.
mitchell was awake, he'd made up our little bed in the loungeroom and he was just lying in the middle looking to the left side of him. i creeped up next to him after he closed his eyes and hugged him from behind like i always do. i waited till he fell asleep and told him he was the love of my life, kissed him on the lips for the last time and left.
fucked up dream hey.
i don't like sleeping alone anymore.
29th of the 10th, 2009.
it sounds really sad, okay, it is really sad.
but i've spent most of. no. scratch that, all of today waiting to talk to mitch.
i get that he has a life outside of his phone, but today i don't!
i have nooothing better to do except sit around and text or turn on a dvd and think about my phone.
today my life has revolved souly around on mitch contacting me.
he got credit at approximately 1pm, totally out of the blue, which made me sooo happy.
and then he just randomly stopped texting, untill now where all my hope has faded hahaha.
i'm far too much of a hermit to see anyone today.
i can't take my mind off the fact it's been four months and i don't know whether he knows or not.
it's another boring, shitty day.
text me, call me, msn me :(
please.
it sounds really sad, okay, it is really sad.
but i've spent most of. no. scratch that, all of today waiting to talk to mitch.
i get that he has a life outside of his phone, but today i don't!
i have nooothing better to do except sit around and text or turn on a dvd and think about my phone.
today my life has revolved souly around on mitch contacting me.
he got credit at approximately 1pm, totally out of the blue, which made me sooo happy.
and then he just randomly stopped texting, untill now where all my hope has faded hahaha.
i'm far too much of a hermit to see anyone today.
i can't take my mind off the fact it's been four months and i don't know whether he knows or not.
it's another boring, shitty day.
text me, call me, msn me :(
please.
Monday, December 28, 2009
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