i haven't had a cigarette for 2 days haha.
go me.

i'm so excited for the wedding,
it'll will be really good.
i get to see all of my family, see my uncle finally get married,
and i get to take the pictures.
i can't wait, weddings are full of emotion, well the good ones are.
full of happiness.
i get to capture this with my camera.
i'd like to capture every smile, every tear, every thought of lonliness,
but i know that's impossible.
i have a feeling i might cry, ben is an amazing uncle, he deserves only the best.
and i think he's got it.
but as far as marriges in my small little family go, if mum's not the next to get married they'll all be waiting for me, haha.
which is scary, i have like no one in my family.

oh marriage, how you change lives.

i hope mitchell is doing okay in his exams.

i don't think i've ever been so sick of disbelief in my life.
i know it's your choice, your life,
but think about all the people out there who actually believe in these things.
do you think they like you ragging on things they devote their lives to?
yes, maybe there would be less war if there was no such thing as religion,
but that's unfortunately not the way the world is, and the people out there trying to prove that their god is the only god, or there is no god, are the people making the conflict.
a religion should be something you keep to yourself, or believe with other people.
there is too many people in the world stomping on eachothers head to say they are right and you are wrong.
honestly, why do you care if someone says their prayers before bed each night to ask for their sins undid? do you care if someone wakes up each morning to hail allah? do you really give a fuck if people dance on the streets singing a song about hare krishnah?
i don't.

i'd like to retire in this.

my weekend, well my weekend was rather alright.
on friday night, i went to dan & scedi's or scedi and dan's 18th.
it was actually really good, i talked to people i don't talk to too much and i actually feel like a proper part of the group now, not just 'mitch's girlfriend' thank god, i hate being the one no one knows, but i usually am.
it's surprising that i have any friends, or a boyfriend..
i guess alcohol makes me come out of my shell to make friends, and then i talk to them again, get to know them, hang around with them, slowly get comfortable and then call them good mates.
strange, but true, i'm a shy person, always have been.

after the party i stayed with mitchell, i always have fun at his house,
 i feel welcome, and his dad gets less and less scary all the time.
i like waking up next to mitchell in the morning, i'm usually wrapped around him or vice versa.
sometimes we're on completely opposite sides of the bed, so i scooch over a little and cuddle into him.
i like the feeling, it's like a feeling of security.
best kisser.
best lover.
best boyfriend.

no lonely, old bed for me.



saturday i went home, i guess i was kind of relieved.
i showered, it was like heaven, i love showering, it's one of my favourite things in the world.
i've always been a water person, nanny calls me a water baby.
that's why i was excited for summer, swimming.
anyway, after my shower i started reading the book mitch told me to read, it's amazing already.
i'll finish it.
and then...
it was time for the show!
of course, what i wanted most didn't happen, but i did have a pretty good time.
it got better when gaby and jordyn showed up, ahhh the 'speed racer' is the best ride on the planet.

after that we all went to mason's for his 18th,
i was tired, very tired.

i've been tired ever since.

oh i am glad i haven't become one of the now millions of people asking you to follow my blog,
it creeps me out how much all these people want everyone to see what's in their head.
i keep mine safe, no one can read you my dear.
what's the point of these things anyway?
i use mine to dislodge thoughts and feelings,
but i'd never make it public.
too private.
my own inner workings are for very few peoples eyes, hearts or heads.
too hard to figure out, too simple to study.

i'm not saying that all you people out there promoting your blogger are bad or anything,
i'm simply stating i do not understand nor wish too.

you've got to admit, all the 'follow my blog' or 'read my blog' bulletins are getting old.
another fad adopted by the myspace population.
i want to know who in heck decided to create one first.
the first person i know of was judd, to promote his 'religious' outlook.
whatever floats your boat.
i'm not right and you're not wrong.

another pointless post from the inner most parts of my brain to the tips of my fingers.