yes, the wedding was fairly beautiful,
i had a lovely time.
mitchell looked rather smart.

i haven't talked to you in a day.
sounds pathetic,
and it is,
but i'm going insane.

last night i had a dream that i called mitchell while he was at zac's last night,
i'd be calling and texting him all night because i wanted to be there,
but the boys didn't want me there.
so i called him and he pretty much asked me why i was so clingy.
he also said something like "i know we're like best friends, you're my girlfriend, but why do you call me so much? why do you need to contact me all the time"
and then i hung up.
i think the dream was based on some things, zac didn't like me anymore because i was too clingy and i texted him all the time, so he was always texting when with his friends.
but i didn't know that was the case, maybe i'm just dumb.
and i think mitch is getting annoyed too, but i can't help it.
also they were at zac's house, and i texted zac asking to tell mitch to check his phone just incase he hadn't so i could feel content, we were kinda cranky at eachother yesterday.. i don't even know why.
well i do actually, anyway zac just wasn't nice? i guess that's the only way i can put it.
he was cold. as usual.
i think i'll stop being clingy, as much as i like knowing what's up and letting you know things, i'm going to stop.
i don't want this to turn out like the last one.
that'd kill me.

i haven't had a cigarette for 2 days haha.
go me.

i'm so excited for the wedding,
it'll will be really good.
i get to see all of my family, see my uncle finally get married,
and i get to take the pictures.
i can't wait, weddings are full of emotion, well the good ones are.
full of happiness.
i get to capture this with my camera.
i'd like to capture every smile, every tear, every thought of lonliness,
but i know that's impossible.
i have a feeling i might cry, ben is an amazing uncle, he deserves only the best.
and i think he's got it.
but as far as marriges in my small little family go, if mum's not the next to get married they'll all be waiting for me, haha.
which is scary, i have like no one in my family.

oh marriage, how you change lives.

i hope mitchell is doing okay in his exams.

i don't think i've ever been so sick of disbelief in my life.
i know it's your choice, your life,
but think about all the people out there who actually believe in these things.
do you think they like you ragging on things they devote their lives to?
yes, maybe there would be less war if there was no such thing as religion,
but that's unfortunately not the way the world is, and the people out there trying to prove that their god is the only god, or there is no god, are the people making the conflict.
a religion should be something you keep to yourself, or believe with other people.
there is too many people in the world stomping on eachothers head to say they are right and you are wrong.
honestly, why do you care if someone says their prayers before bed each night to ask for their sins undid? do you care if someone wakes up each morning to hail allah? do you really give a fuck if people dance on the streets singing a song about hare krishnah?
i don't.